My Interesting Condition

by Eileen Hazel

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1.
Too Bright 03:18
TOO BRIGHT I have been sitting in the dark in my room Looking at the stars on my ceiling I have been waiting for illumination But I want it to come slowly Don’t shine too bright of a light on me Shine too bright of a light on me Don’t shine too bright of a light I have been walking in the evening alone Sun sinking slowly on the skyline I have been waiting for the night to fall So no one can see me crying Don’t shine too bright of a light on me Shine too bright of a light on me Don’t shine too bright of a light Let there be moonlight to open my eyes Let there be some second chances Let there be wild kind of magic in the night Let mine be a heart that dances Don’t shine too bright of a light on me Shine too bright of a light on me Don’t shine too bright of a light
2.
Seed 04:08
SEED I am not a fragile flower I am not a woman scorned I am just a human being Hoping for a heart to warm me I have floated on the ceiling I have crawled upon the floor I have been devoid of feeling Scarred and bitter from the war But I am not one who gives up easily Where I find a hole, I’ll plant a seed I think I’ve done my time, I’ve paid my dues… Days like this they come too seldom Days like this they pass too soon Stay with me a while longer I think I might like to stay with you Cuz I am not one who gives up easily Where I find a hole, I’ll plant a seed I think I’ve done my time, I’ve paid my dues… I am not one who gives up easily Where I find a hole, I’ll plant a seed I think I’ve done my time, I’ve paid my dues I’ve sung my share of the lovesick blues I said I’ve done my time, I’ve paid my dues I am not a fragile flower I am not a woman scorned
3.
Fooling Me 04:00
FOOLING ME Sometimes you make me feel like an idiot without a clue Your love is so unreal, you’re not the same girl that I knew Once I believed but it seems I was wrong Wiped my snot on my sleeve, then I wrote down this song Love is just a fantasy Your kisses were only fooling me Some days I go to work, I sit there and format reports Though my feelings have been hurt, and my temper is getting pretty short Once I imagined you were in love with me I guess I’d have to speculate I’ve watched too much TV Love is a calamity Your sweet words were only fooling me Oh woe to the woman who repeats all her mistakes She can try to start all over but what difference would it make? Her behavior is genetic, she’s been programmed since birth To fool around with fire, and then cry when it hurts Darwin says we’re evolved - he wrote the “Origin of Species” in a week But monkeys have got it solved, they express their affection grooming fleas Once I supposed that life could make some sense But natural selection is all a game of chance Love is pure insanity My big brain was only fooling me Yeah, love is just a fantasy My big overdeveloped and highly-evolved brain was only fooling me
4.
Hollow 04:19
HOLLOW There’s a woman that I know She is hollow, yet she is whole And this woman, sometimes she cries She feels hollow, Why? The emptiness inside her is a wide open space All the peace that’s denied her Gonna fill her someday There’s a woman I have seen She is hollow, she’s in between She is longing to be filled For her cup of joy has been spilled The loneliness inside her is a wide open space All the love that’s denied her Gonna fill her someday There’s a woman I have heard She is hollow, in a word She is learning how to speak And her voice is strong but her words are weak The silence inside her is a wide open space All the truth that’s denied her Gonna fill her someday
5.
Epiphany 04:14
EPIPHANY I am determined to get over you, no matter how long it takes I’ll have the courage, the will to be strong, no matter how my heart breaks I’ll let you go if it takes me all year I’m so afraid but I will face my fear I am so tired of crying these tears over you I have resolved to live for myself, I’m going to set my heart free I have the wisdom to heal my own heart, no one will love me like me I won’t hold on, I’ll simply let go And if I miss you I won’t let it show And if you kiss me I will not open to you Darlin, so long, I have loved you so much, but the time for that has gone by I will not linger or long for the touch of your hand on mine, on mine, on mine You say you never intended to hurt me, I believe that it’s true I never intended to love you so much, after all we’d been thru I never thought it would cut me so deep I never imagined how you’d make me weep I never intended to lose so much sleep over you Darlin, so long, I have loved you so much, but the time for that has gone by I will not linger or long for the touch of your hand on mine, on mine, on mine I’m really making an effort this time, to balance my life and get you off my mind I will fill my need I am a woman who’s loved many times, I’m sure that I’ll love again I have had lovers who’ve broken my heart, I still consider them friends My faith in humanity will be renewed As soon as I’m rid of this longing for you I may learn slow but I won’t be a fool over you Darlin, so long, I have loved you so much, but the time for that has gone by I will not linger or long for the touch of your hand on mine, on mine, on mine
6.
Terrorist 04:40
TERRORIST In my dreams, the bombs are falling and exploding in the air I can hear the people calling I can feel the naked terror Do you believe peace can come from war somehow? Tell me, who is the terrorist now? In Iraq, people are dying from starvation and disease With our bombs and economic sanctions We have brought them to their knees Do you believe peace can come from war somehow? Tell me, who is the terrorist now? And in the media, it’s a sordid affair It’s a circus of genocide, it’s a mockery of despair. New York City last September Was a tragedy indeed Must we add to all the suffering? Must we multiply the grief? Do you believe peace can come from war somehow? Tell me, who is the terrorist now? Do you believe that peace can come? Tell me who, oh tell me who Tell me who are the terrorists now?
7.
Shy 03:49
SHY Shucks, folks, I guess I’m speechless I think the lion’s got my tongue When I was younger, in social situations I was so much braver than today Why don’t you pick on someone your own size? Why do you have to talk to me? Can’t you see I’m suffering a painful case of shyness? What am I doing at this party? I’m shy. I’m shy, so shy. When I’m at home in my own kitchen I am not bashful nor timid It’s only at these gatherings of influential people who are schmoozing as if they were born to mingle! I’m shy. I’m shy, so shy. My mother says I’m self-effacing My sweetheart says I’m just reserved Someday I will converse with anyone who speaks to me, and shine with all the prowess I deserve. I’m shy. . . I’m shy, so shy. I don’t know why but I’m shy.
8.
ABC 00:29
9.
Pixie Dance 01:36
10.
MY INTERESTING CONDITION* I’m too young to feel so old Too far south to be so cold Shivering in the rain Too innocent to be blamed I’m too bright to feel so dumb Too alive to be so numb Haven’t found the novocaine That will ease this old pain I am a mess of contradiction This is my interesting condition I sleep too much to be so tired I’m way too poor to retire Too middle class to feel so poor Too entertained to be bored I’m too sweet to feel so bitter Too eco-conscious to litter Too mature to be naive And wear my heart out on my sleeve I am a mess of contradiction This is my interesting condition How will I ever know which road to take? Seems I’m always at the crossroads with a choice to make But I’m too wise to be a fool I’m too awkward to be cool I’m too scared to be so brave Too far gone to be saved I am a mess of contradiction This is my interesting condition

about

Eileen's debut album, My Interesting Condition is a worthy introduction into her musical inspirations and celebrations. It features both solo acoustic songs and those with a full band. In the process of recording My Interesting Condition, Eileen pulled together a wide array of talented musicians to create a unique tapestry of songs.

My Interesting Condition garnered favorable reviews from the East Bay Express, Berkeley Daily Planet, San Francisco Spectrum, Indie-Music.com, and a number of radio stations including the Bay Area's KPFA radio.

credits

released January 10, 2002

Produced by Lisa Zeiler, with additional production by Eileen Hazel and Lisa Richmond
Recorded and mixed by Lisa Richmond and Josh Roberts
Dance Home Sound/Roof Brothers
"ABC" recorded by Eileen Hazel, mixed by Josh Roberts
Mastered by Ken Lee, Oakland CA

Cover photo and turtle drawing by IvoryFly
Skating photo by Dennis Komis
Eileen 1965 photo by Chris Blencoe
Graphic design by 300 Golden Bees

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Eileen Hazel Berkeley, California

Eileen Hazel is a bard of the human soul and a priestess of Aphrodite. Her minstrel spirit and finely crafted songs will take you on a journey from the depths of sorrow to the healing solace of laughter, with Goddess energy suffusing your spirit.

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